Feeling lost and angry today.

Well, I got my OGTT results back today. Everything was normal. Last glucose check I did, it was 104 which was pre-diabetic. And, of course, now it's fine. I'm so frustrated, I could scream! The whole point of the OGTT was to confirm IR so I could start metformin and hopefully be on my way to regular cycles. However, this stupid test just had to come back normal so that I now have to wait until July 20 before I can see my doctor to see what he wants to do now. I called his office today hoping to speak with him about just that, and his nurse called back and told me that he hadn't said anything about what to do next so I have to wait until my appointment. I have been waiting 11+ months to finally get something going, and now I have to wait one more?! I never thought I'd be so angry to not have IR! I finally had a goal: get on metformin, get my insulin levels down, hopefully get my weight down, and maybe I'll ovulate. But now, I have no idea what to do, and no idea where to go from here.

I just want a baby. I want to ovulate regularly. I want to stop having to stress about bbt and cm and all that crap that I wish I didn't have to bother with in the first place!

I just want to sit and cry. I'm so frustrated and disappointed and angry. My bbt has been really crappy lately, and although it's rising very slowly, I'm about 99.9% sure that it doesn't mean anything because I don't have sore nips like I used to have when I ovulated so I really don't think I ovulated. I am so SICK of TTC. This is supposed to be a happy time in our lives when we're trying to create a little one that we will love more than anything, and instead it's just plain disappointment and stress and tears. I hate it.

I hope all of you women who have children don't take them for granted, because there are some of us who would give anything to have a child of our own.