Distractions

I'm spending the weekend up at my mom's, getting a last visit in before I go back to work on Monday. It's really helping to distract me from the Am I/Am I not pregnant? dialogue that kept running through my brain at home. I haven't really been tempted to test at all...probably because I'm really doubting that my temps are indicative of a pregnancy. They're still above FF's coverline, but I'm not holding my breath for a BFP! I told DH I would test on Sunday and then I would just wait until my doc calls and gives me the go-ahead to use Provera so I can start Clomid (this, of course, assumes I don't have any cysts or anything that would keep me from starting the Clomid soon).

I did my BL workout last night, and really felt sore this morning. I was doing it in my mom's living room on the huge floor rug they have. It kept sliding under me when I would do lunges, and I know my form wasn't good while doing them, so I'm sure that's why I was stiff and achy this morning when I got up. I'll probably do it tomorrow in the basement where I won't slide so much. DH told me tonight when I mentioned my workouts that I really look good, and that it's very noticeable that I'm toning up. He said I looked hot in my bathing suit...he made me smile. :)

Too much water!

Had my ultrasound done this morning. My rant for the day? Having to have a full bladder when getting the ultrasound done! I didn't know when I went that I had to have a full bladder, so when I got there I ended up having to drink almost 32 oz. of water within 30-40 minutes. I had 2 cups, waited a bit, went in the room to get the ultrasound done, found out I hadn't had enough to drink, so they sent me back out and gave me two more cups. By the middle of the 4th cup, I honestly thought that if I moved even a millimeter that I would pee my pants! I stood there, legs tightly clenched, waddling to the ultrasound room (after I found the ultrasound tech and told her I didn't think I could hold out any longer). I thought I was gonna pee myself getting up on the table! Luckily she got all the scans she needed really quickly and let me go to the restroom before she did a vaginal ultrasound (wasn't expecting that!). I have never had to pee so badly before in my life! I went twice at the hospital within 2 minutes...it was like I condensed a whole day's worth of peeing in to 30 minutes. Sucky!

I tested this morning, got a BFN. I was really disappointed. I had really gotten my hopes up to get a positive today. I suppose I will test again on Sunday if George doesn't come, but that also assumes that I ovulated for real and that this is an actual 2ww. This is all so stressful!

10 dpo

Well, temp is still up. Not super high, but higher than the coverline. I've been having some EWCM, though, yesterday morning (well, afternoon, I guess...it was when I woke up) and this morning. I've spent hours Googling this, trying to see what it could mean. It really could be anything: late ovulation, pregnancy, George on its way. I just don't know what to think anymore! I guess it's just a wait-and-see thing. DH and I went to Dollar Tree and bought 5 tests. I already used one last night for fun, and of course it was a BFN.

I did my BL workout last night pretty late. It was after midnight when I got done. I just didn't have the motivation to do it yesterday. I was also kinda worried that if I was in fact pregnant, I would cause a miscarriage or something. Silly, I know. I did it, though, and got way more overheated than usual. I also was very aware of my lower abdomen while doing the workout. It's probably just all in my head.

I just wish I'd been charting back when I was actually ovulating. It would make things so much easier now. At least I'd know what to expect!

Symptom spotting...

I've spent all day trying to make myself stop thinking that I just maybe might have ovulated and that I just maybe could finally get a BFP soon. It's made for a very up-and-down day.

Weird "symptoms" I've noticed today:

• Frequent urination. Within a 3-hour timeframe, I'd already peed four times! And I'd had nothing to drink before that! I'm usually one of those people who can hold it for awhile, and maybe go 3-4 times a day. I've honestly lost count today how many times I've had to go!
• Weird abdominal tightness. It feels like I'm tightening my abs, but I'm not. It's that same feeling I get when I'm doing my ab crunches during my BL workout. It's so weird. My whole abdominal area felt hard, too.
• Pain near my right ovary, but more of a sharp twinging than cramping. It's hard to explain.
• A weird tugging behind my bellybutton when I twisted around earlier to see something behind me. It's like something was anchored to my bellybutton, and when I twisted my torso I was stretching the "anchor".
• Bloating. I put on a dress today that should've fit me decently, but it felt so tight around my middle. I've only worn the dress for maybe 30 seconds before, so I suppose this could just be a result of my poor memory, but it just seemed like I was so much more bloated than usual. I weighed myself today and was 2 lb. less than I was at my doctor's appointment on Wednesday, so it's not weight gain making me chubby!

I'd like to think that these are all legit pregnancy signs, but I'm very often wrong about these things. Given that my chart looks like utter crap, I'm not feeling very hopeful. I suppose we'll see, though!

Yay weddings!

Today we attended the wedding of some good friends of ours. I remember at this time last year telling DH that I didn't know what to RSVP for their wedding since we'd probably have a newborn at that point. Although I'm bummed that the baby thing hasn't happened yet, I was really happy to go to their wedding. I had a really, really great time! Got to see so many people that I hadn't seen in a long time. I got to dance with DH a bunch, which was so fun. :)

According to FF, I'm 7 dpo today. I still don't think I ovulated. I refuse to get my hopes up. My chart looks like crap, and I'm feeling just a little frustrated and annoyed, but it's just a day-by-day thing.

So many people lately have been asking me when we're going to have children. At least 3 people have asked in the past two days. I don't mind them asking, and I don't mind explaining the situation, but man...it seems like in the past month, we've been asked that question so many times! I guess we've hit that point in our marriage where it's "time" for children. Hopefully another year doesn't pass and people are still asking that same question!

Crazy day!

As far as my appointment went:

• Doc ordered an ultrasound (date TBD) before starting me on Clomid (yay!)
• Doc thinks DH ought to do a semen analysis, but I'm gonna hold off on that until we can get me ovulating regularly. If I ovulate regularly for a few months and still nothing happens, then we'll check DH out. But, right now, I'm the main issue. DH issues or no DH issues, we can't get pregnant if I don't ovulate!
• 3rd year med student who saw me today (before Doc came in) was one of my TAs in freshman chem lab. Kinda awkward since we recognized each other and I was in there to discuss my infertility! I think we both handled it very professionally, though.

Getting to the appointment sucked. I haven't gone anywhere in my car for a couple of weeks, so when I went to leave for the doctor's office, imagine my surprise when the car didn't start. The engine wouldn't even pretend to try to start. So, there I am, already barely running on schedule to get to my appointment, and the stupid car wouldn't start! DH called his sister for me, and she came to get me (which I was so grateful for!). I ended up being ten minutes late for my appointment, but luckily they weren't busy. I called them ahead of time to let them know I'd be late, so I think that gave me some brownie points. UGH...I need a new car so badly! I'm so tired of mine giving me crap like this. I start work again on August 2, so I really need a running vehicle!

It's been pouring the rain down here all day. The ceiling in our spare bedroom apparently has a hole in it, because water started leaking down onto our board game collection. Luckily, DH noticed it right away and got everything moved before it got damaged. We've got a bowl sitting up there to collect the water, and hopefully maintenance will come by soon to fix it. They supposedly fixed it when we moved in, but we know better now.

I'm wide awake right now because I was super tired around 6pm, so I took a nap that didn't end until 10pm. Same thing happened to me yesterday...got really tired in the early evening and took a nap (albeit a much shorter nap than tonight). Hopefully I will get tired soon so I can get some decent sleep before temping. I'm anxious to see what my temp does. I still don't think I ovulated, but I suppose I could be wrong. I hope I'm wrong!

3 dpo?!

Today FF gave me crosshairs! The solid ones, not the dashed! I had a really good thermal shift, too, but...I just can't allow myself to think that I ovulated. I haven't ovulated since I started temping, and back when I was having regular periods (for all of about 3 months), I remember having really sore nipples afterwards. I haven't had anything at all other than the thermal shift to indicate that I O'ed. I just don't want to get my hopes up and think that I'm finally in the TWW when it's just my body being flukey. I have a doctor's appointment today at 3 to discuss what route we want to take as far as trying to get myself to ovulate. Maybe he'll order a P4 test so I can see if I really did ovulate or not.

DH and I spent the weekend in Myrtle Beach with his family. I had such a wonderful time! We did a lot of stuff in those 3 days, but it was worth it. We left home around 3am on Friday and drove straight there. I ended up not being able to temp that day because I went to bed around 12:30am, got up at 2:30am, and was awake until around 11am. Of course, that day is now questionable as to whether I ovulated the day before that day, or the day after. Oh well...I'm not going to focus on it too much!

BL workout yesterday sucked pretty bad after not having done it since last Wednesday. I'm sure I gained weight while at the beach, though, so I'm gonna have to work extra hard this week to get back on track. I may even break down and do the workout again today.

Happy anniversary!

Happy one year anniversary to us! I was very blessed to marry DH three years ago today (actually, by now, we were already married), and I'm so happy to be his wife! We are going to celebrate today by going to church. ;)

Gonna do my Biggest Loser workout in a few minutes. I was gonna eat lunch first, but if I eat right before I work out I get nauseous, so I'm gonna postpone lunch for about another 45 minutes. I'm hoping to get done with everything before One Tree Hill comes on at 3. It's become my new show. I caught random episodes when it first came on the air, but I never really got into it (although I enjoyed it when I watched it). Luckily, SoapNet shows it every day from 2-4, so I'm gonna catch it at 3 (since the 2pm show is yesterday's 3pm show).

Well, one year of TTC down, another to go! I'm really excited to go to the doctor next Tuesday. I'm hoping to get started on Clomid, and I really think it'll work. My body has tried so many times to ovulate over the past cycle; I think it just needs a little nudge in the right direction to get it over the hump. Hopefully, Clomid will give it that little boost!

11 months, 4 weeks...

...is how long we've been trying for Baby Pack #1. It is also how long it's been since our last anniversary! We aren't planning to do much in the way of celebration. We've somewhat exchanged gifts already. He gave me cash to go see Eclipse (without him, of course...he's not into sparkly vamps and shirtless men). I've got his gift still hidden away, and he'll get it on Wednesday. I'm excited to give it to him. :)

BL workout wasn't too bad today. I bought some actual weights (3 lb each), which made things so much easier. I was using cans of peaches as weights before (1 lb, 13 oz each). They were so bulky, so it was nice to use real weights this time! They are heavier, though, so my arms really got tired faster than usual. DH thinks I'm really toning up--although I don't see it--and he's been my biggest cheerleader as far as my workouts go. He's always telling me how sexy I am, and even though I don't quite see it/feel it, it makes me feel good that he thinks I'm sexy. That's not to say he didn't think I was sexy before, but I think he tells me that more now because he knows how self-conscious I am now that I'm working out.

We're heading to the beach this weekend with his family. I don't have my "beach body", but I am slimming a bit (lost 4 lbs so far!), so I won't feel so chubby in my bikini. It'll be nice to get away for the weekend, although I am a little anxious about leaving my cats. Usually, DH's mom comes to take care of them when we're gone, but since she'll be with us, I'm hoping DH's dad will come by. I'm going to make sure to put extra food and water out for them, and if their litter box gets too full, it won't be that big of a deal, I suppose.

So, with our one year anniversary of TTC coming up, I suppose I shall say that I'm very much looking forward to the next year. I really do feel things will happen soon. I may not be as young as I thought I'd be with baby #1 arrives, but I wouldn't mind being a 24-year-old mom. Wouldn't mind at all. :)

Go away, cramps!

So I'm anxious to see what my body's trying to do now. Since Wednesday evening, I have had George (AF) cramps and my lower back has been aching. Since I haven't ovulated, I wouldn't see why I would be having period cramps. I've had just the tiniest bit of spotting as well (mainly very light pink EWCM/creamy cm), but that seems to have disappeared since Thursday morning. DH and I BD'ed just in case it was ovulation cramping from both sides or something, but I don't have a clue what's going on!

My sister's coming to visit me today! Yay! We're going to go watch Eclipse tomorrow morning. DH's anniversary present to me was money to go watch Eclipse. He's such a sweet husband. ;)

BL workout sucked on Wednesday, but it was better than Monday. Here's to hoping today's workout won't be so bad!

My poor arms! (Part 2)

So I decided to go ahead and move to Level 2 of the BL workout. My arms were not at all pleased with me for that. I must've really strained something near my elbow in my left arm because it really, really hurts. Even just barely brushing the skin hurts. I had to be careful while sleeping last night lest the comforter brush against my elbow. I'm thinking that when I do the workout today, I will just skip the arm stuff (despite the fact that Level 2 deals primarily with arms). Or, maybe I will do the arm stuff but without weights. I don't want to further injure myself. Level 2 really kicked my butt, though. Hopefully today it will not be so bad.

The kitties have really been enjoying their little forays onto the back porch. They go out into their huge cage (designed for transport of large dogs, so I can easily fit all 4 kitties in there with room for all of them to lay down) and just enjoy the sunshine and fresh air. Of course, Frank thinks he ought to be able to roam the entire back porch, so he cries like a baby when he has to sit in the cage. Of course, now that they all go outside and love it, they think they need to go outside all the time. Today, they've opted just to sit in the open window and snooze. Luckily, our small couch is right under the window so they lay on the top of the couch. I've even lined the top of the couch with blankets so they can have a comfy nature-watching experience. They're such spoiled kitties.

I've had a small drop in weight in the past week! I don't know quantitatively, but when I got on the scales Monday evening after having eaten all day and having just eaten a rather large meal, I weighed 150.8 lbs. A week prior to that, I weighed that same amount after hopping on the scales right before lunch (and after having no breakfast). So, I'm pretty excited to be losing some weight. I've also noticed I've lost some inches on my waistline, which is awesome! I wish I could lose some inches around my hips (the width of my hips is what's keeping me from wearing my size 7-8 jeans!), but I'll take what I can get.

My body's acting like it's gearing up to O again. I doubt it will, but I'm not stressing about it. It will or it won't, and no amount of my freaking out about it is going to change that. All I can do is make sure we BD at least one or two times during my "maybe O" times. I'm just under two weeks away from my next doctor's appointment, during which I will ask for Clomid. I like my doctor, he's very knowledgeable about PCOS, but I'm not a huge fan of the "wait and see" approach. I'm ready to ovulate, and since I can't do it on my own with exercise and proper diet, then medication's the next step!

Great weekend!

UGH, BLOGGER! I just had this post finished and ready to publish, and the page went all screwy and deleted everything I wrote. That’s really annoying!

Yesterday was the 4th, and we had a wonderful day. Our families all came here to celebrate, which was neat because we never host any holiday get-togethers. We were a little worried that we wouldn’t have enough room for everyone since it’s enough of a struggle just to fit 5-6 people in here, let alone 12-13. We managed, though, and everyone had a great time. We had plenty of food and my kitties (especially our “outside kitties” that I’ve secretly kind of adopted even though DH still wants us to take them to a shelter) were the hit of the party. Frank loved all the attention…he’s such a ham!

My bbt has been super weird lately. Over the past 4 days it steadily dropped all the way down to 96.3. Up until this cycle, the lowest temp I’ve recorded was 96.7, so seeing it go that low made me pretty nervous. My mom just got diagnosed with hypothyroidism, and knowing that that puts me at a high risk of having a thyroid disorder myself, I was really hoping my temp wouldn’t continue to drop. It went back up today to 96.8, though, so that makes me feel better.
I’m hoping that the temp increase is just my body regulating back out, and not due to ovulation. I’m pretty sure I didn’t ovulate, though. Didn’t have any fertile cm in the past 4 days, no ovulation pain, no sore nipples, nothing that would indicate impending/already occurred ovulation. Lucky for us, too; DH and I haven’t had time to BD in the past four days, so ovulation would be a bad thing right now!

Gonna change up my BL workout today. Instead of adding weeks 3-4 on to my routine, I’m going to replace weeks 1-2 with weeks 3-4 and see how that goes. I’ve had some good success with this workout, so I’m eager to continue. I’ve got a little under two weeks until our beach vacation, so I want to keep slimming my waist line down. If only I could get my butt to do the same…

Our third anniversary is coming up really soon. I can’t believe it’s only been 3 years. Feels like I’ve been with DH for much longer, which isn’t a bad thing! I love that man more than I can explain in words. He is everything I have ever imagined my husband being, and I’m so happy that he is the one I am spending the rest of my life with.

Our TTC anniversary is also quickly approaching…same day as our wedding anniversary, actually. I’m not too sad about that, though. I have extremely high hopes that next year, on what will be our 4th wedding anniversary, we will have a little baby with us to help us celebrate. :)

Feeling better

Today was a better day (as far as TTC goes). I spent all afternoon trying to fix the huge mess Verizon has made of my bank account. Still don't have a clue how they got my account info, but if it happens again, a lawyer will be handling it instead of me.

Don't know why I feel better, but I do. I guess I am reaching a point where I don't care. A baby will come along eventually. I'm just going to enjoy the rest of my summer before work starts up again. If it happens, it happens.

Can't wait until Sunday! We're hosting the family 4th of July get-together, and I get to see my family! :-D I won't get to see them again 'til the end of July, so I'm glad for this coming weekend!

Momma cat and her kittens came back again today. I love seeing them outside. The little boy kitten always runs from me when I go to pet him, but he doesn't mind if I sit near him. The little girl doesn't mind if I pet her, and Momma loves it when I pet her. She's the sweetest!

Top picture: Momma and Little Boy
Bottom picture: Little Girl